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If I married him it must without one Idea or [[deletion]] [[unclear]] [[/deletion]] [[addition]] prospect [[/addition]] of finding in our union any of that Happiness I once hoped. -- I know I should find him affecte & kind, -- but could I be deceived by appearances, -- I should feel, I was indebted only to duty & awakened sorrow for every proof of love he gave me. -- My soul must shrink with horror from this conviction, I should consider myself as the bane of his [[deletion]] happiness [[/deletion]] [[addition]] repose [[/addition]] the only alloy to the happiness of him I so much love. I should fear my presence a constant source of regret to him, & that every kindness I experienced from him was an act of painful penance inflicted by principle. -- This baneful idea unfortunately conceived & fatally cherished wd shortly mine the feeble wreck of an already exhausted frame -- his
